Cards we will never make

My friend Mark from Record Attempts told me about this episode of The Apprentice UK involving greeting cards. The task was to create a new date to sell greeting cards, create five cards for that date and then to pitch it to three major card sellers in the UK.

When they first start brainstorming ideas one guy comes up with the bright idea of cards to give to people who just had some kind of cosmetic surgery (jump to 6.48 in the youtube video below). The whole conversation is rather amusing, I especially like the part when a nose job is referred to as 'intimate' but a boob job is something his friends are happy to tell everyone about.

I got thinking about this as an occasion and what would we make as a card to give someone who just had cosmetic surgery. I had an idea, it rhymed and it involved a dorky girl like the one from our Mistletoe card. However it was something that we would never actually make. But rather than keep these ideas hidden away, we thought they would be quite fun to share. So here is our first card we will never make:

PS: If you want to watch the whole episode it is divided into six parts on the youtubes:
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six
Also, Mark called it but it needs to be said than Kevin looks very much like Matt Lucas from Little Britain.